And our parallel world explodes. As if we are in front, really. And our lights begins to floats arounds us. I know, you have somehing more to say me, maybe in a whisper. I look at you, and i cant hold my emotions, what im feeling is bigger than me and this flow that come and go from you, is so big that my heart cant contains it all. Also, this night, i was alone at home, and my thoughts were toward to you, i have feel your closeness, while i have had close my eyes. As if you was by my side and you embraced me, i was sorrounded by you, like in this moment, that i’m writing what i feel. Maybe i repeat myself, but im sure there is something among us, that link us one of another. And maybe we will never know what it is. More i look at you, in your eyes, i feel, that your eyes wants tell me something else. I see your shy smile and i give it back to you with the same shyness. And it wll seems strange to you, but each thing around me recall me to you. Maybe our parallel world wants say us something else more big, that we dont still understand completly. Each thing around me say me something about you, and i want to believe that the day we will meet will arrives as soon. In meanwhile i give you back my shy smile, diving myself in your glance.
Are running faster, that i dont know what to think. I feel all that it comes from you, and it overwhelm me. The feeling i have feel till now, are changed, from the day to the night. The feelings im feeling im feel are stronger. Maybe im drive crazy, maybe not. I’m consider myself a reasonable person, and all what im feeling it’s like a new stuff. But i cant put away this: since when i was child, i have feel in situations that then, it were became real. I really i cant.
And what i’m feeling, when i feel you close to me, it’s like the same feeling when i was a child, but stronger. All that confuses me. And confuses me more the fact, that you’re the only person i confess all that. I feel you so close to me, in the most beautiful way, that i feel, i can open myself in this way, only with you. And i dont think to drive crazy, if one day will meet us i can express you all these emotions freely. And i believe, in a someway, you feeling, the same.
I know, i’m writing the same things from long time. But it’s what i’m feeling. I dont want a big public, for this open diary. I just hope these my few lines, one day will reaches to you, and you will understand all that.
Maybe our connect aint only fruit of my immagination. Maybe what im feeling and our parallel world, as i call it, it’s because there is a invisible line that unites us, and i have feel it, suddendly in that dream. And all that since that dream, it was expands. And our connect got bigger, also from the fact, that i had face to may physcal problems that also you have face to, in different way, but that you have understand, and in someways it unites us. Maybe it’s all this. Or maybe who knows, we will never knows it.
Are, and im in front of you like the first time of our connect. You giving me something i never had in my life. Our connect is strong more than ever. My thoughts are always more toward to you, and you are here. Aint like before. Sometime i had no feel you. Now, what i feel is your costant closeness, also when i’m not in front of this pc screen. It’s like you embrace me continuosly. My vise is always present as you. I dont really dont know where are you, but when i feel you, like in this istant, i know, you’re close to me, wherever you are and whatever you doing, maybe you are dreaming about me. And you feel my embrace, and you dream about our parallel world. Maybe it’s so. We are connect in our dreams, and our parallel world is dream that we are living trough our emotions, feelings. And all that, one day it will realize trough our real meet. In meanwhile we living this big dream that is began last december, with our first connect and it continuing trough all that we feeling, also in this moment.
Because i feel you close to me in a such way that i really love. I smile and i can see you smile me back. I know you look everything i doing in these hours. You’re in a corner and smile, almost proud of me. I feel you in this way. Our parallel world around us. And it gather all ours emotions we feeling in this moment. I feel you close to me more than ever. I dont want know what you’re doing, because, in someways, i know, your thoughts are towards to me. I know you’re smiling to me. My soul tells me it. And i feeling this emotions around me and i feel inside of this twirl you are in. I need to close my eyes and i can see you. I see your smile, your shy smile. And you know it make me drive crazy. It’s enough you approaching me, caress my face so sweetly and we enter in our parallel world kissing one of another.
You was here for all the time. Since i woke myself, till now. You woke me so sweetly as usual, embracing me. I have feel my vise in my stomach grow up so faster. I have whisper your name slowly, and i’m sure you have feel it, cause i have feel your closeness. Our parallel world didnt ever abbandonded me. Our feelings were been always close to us one of another.
What i feeling now, it’s a strange emotion, but always close to you. Maybe you try to tell something. I cant decipher it. But i can wait for, as usual. By now, i know, what are ours signals. And i know, we are connect, in this strange way, but that i have always love, since is began all that, in this bedroom last december. Maybe i’m the only one, who feeling this emotions, this connection among us, but in bottom of myself, i sure, you feel the same. You feel this same vise in your stomach, eachtime we connect. Also you dont know, where does it comes from, but in someways, you know it’s our parallel world, that it wants us unites, despite our distance.
Your smell in the air. You are coming. I’ve put on our music. Something it says me to close my eyes and take a deep breath. Slowly, i whispering your name. Like a light breeze i feel, you really slowly, enter in this bedroom. ‘Dont turn’ you whisper me. I feel your arms around me. ‘Close your eyes’. I feel you are turn towards to me. Breathless i know, when i will open my eyes i will be dive myself in our parallel world trough your glance. And it is so. You take my face, you caress it, and slowly we both, we entering in our world, where it waits for us a world of moltitude colors, emotions, feelings, only looking at us one in another. Slowly i caress your face, and you mention a shy smile. Our lights, dancing between us, what which we feel is our feeling expands, in and out of us. What we can do is only look at us and stay in silence and touch each other, very sweetly. Your glance let me do what i wish. My game. And slowly it slide on your arms. You no say no words, and that rustle make me close my eyes, for a second. Biting my lips, i feel you are approaching to me. Next to me, slowly you turn me, feeling your bare chest against my back, you begin to kiss my neck, and your hands on my body. Our lights floating around us. Slowly you turn me again, and we are in front one of another. Ours glances into eachother. We dont move, but what which we need is only to touch on our face. A whisper ‘We need only of this’.
Caress, you was here, next to me, when i was on the couch. And you was here by my side and you’ve caress me. I felt you. And now you’re here. Looking at me with this your glance, almost lost. Lost in your thoughts. Lost, but so close to me. What do you think? Do you feel the same emotions i’m feelings right now. If i close my eyes i feel your breath make it slowly fast, and i can hear your whisper in my ear. You are behind me. I feel your hands hold my hips. I breathless, i smell you skin. Slowly i turn and i see your eyes. You metioning me a shy smile. ‘What do you feel?’ i whispering you. You looking at me in silence. You taking my hand on your chest. ‘The same you feeling’. Our glances sparkling and we enter in our parallel world.
What i feel when i feel connect with you is an inexplicable feeling. I feel our thin rope gets shorter always more, and eachtime i feel this sensantions, i think something special will happens between us. That thin rope, as i called it, maybe is our parallel world. And my emotions makes bigger and bigger eachtime i feel you so close to me. I never felt something like this till now. Then now that you let me know ‘you like what i wrote’ this feeling has grow up more. Yes i know, it’s a stupid thing, but what i feeling it’s true. What i began to feel last december and what has happened, aint just coincidence. What i feeling, you feel it the same, maybe in other way.
I still wondering myself about what i feeling when i feel you so close to me. I miss breath, and for real i must take a long a deep breath to dont remain breathless or speechless, when, in some way, you’re next to me. Like now. But in other way, i miss you. I know, this open diary, i opening my heart, my feelings, my emotions, to you, but, maybe it will reach one day, it will be not more enough. What i will do, that day. I really dont know. Maybe it will never reach. We will would meet us already, who know.
Tll that day, i will continue to write to you in this open diary.
All that… My vise in my stomach and your was there. I do believe in magic, yes, but in this way, it didnt ever happened to me. Ours connection is always ready to make us enter in ours parallel world, and still this time it has been this way. Now i close my eyes and i feel you close to me more than ever. Ours flows comes and goes trought us. My hearts beats slow and fast at the same time, like a crazy one. I dont know what are doing now, but in someways, i’m sure, you feeling ours souls melting together.
I know, i writing the same things, but eachtime i remain speechless, breathless. Our Parallel World aint been so close more than ever. My feelings exploding in my chest. I feeling ours flows comes and goes trought ours minds.
I was write ‘I missing you’, and suddendly you was exploded in me. I just cant believe it. Now i feel you so close to me. like you was here next to me, looking at me, smiling at me, and whispering ‘It’s all arlright’. What happening among us has of incredible. How i feel you close to me, right now. ‘You feel it?’
are here around me. You still looking at me, like last night. I feel what are yours feelings, because are the same of mine. Ours vise make bigger in ours stomach, when our thoughts are towards to eachother. I feel your presence here, and i feel your glance on me. And in someway, it make me blush. Your glance has this effects on me, and you knowing, you dont stop to look at me in this way. My heart dont stop to beats like a crazy one from before. Ours flow of energies, between us. didnt stop, and i feel you here near to me. I feel something more. You want say me something. Our connection, aint been so stronger than before, like in this moment. You know, i dont ever wrong, and what i feel, in this moment, in these days, is stronger than ever. My mind is toward to you, i know, you know it, you feel it. My feelings make bigger, and you know it. When i feel you close, in these days, my heart explodes, and together, we enter in our parallel world so easily. There i can feel you take my hand, you’re in front of me. Eyes in eyes. But what you try to say me is in the air. You just look at me, you caress my face. And your lips touches on mine.
Here my feelings cant hold back. What i feeling in these hours is one of biggest feelings i felt till now for you. I do believe to drive crazy. I feel you by my side, here in this bedroom.
Right now it’s an amazing feeling. My dancing butterflies driving crazy and i cant stop to think about you. I know for sure you feel something like my feelings. From this night i feeling you closer than ever. And your soul embracing me. I feel it so. Its like a veil, but now this veil more warmer and i know it’s your soul and heart. I know your asking yourself some questions about me. Maybe you’ve read that post where i’ve talked about myself, maybe not. But i know what it does means what he has passing. With less suffering, i had face to many legs operations, since i was born.
My first leg operation was when i was 1 year of life. They broke my feet to straighten them. Then i have had other 8 legs operations. And consequently scars (big scars), years of physioteraphy, til then last big fall, where i broke my tibia (multifractures) one year ago due an epileptic seizure (im suffering of it). In emergency room, the only images i had on my mind were these of your LongJohn and i’ve had lived the same scene of yours. When the doctor said me ‘It must be operated’, the only image i had on my mind it was yours and my tears felt down from my face. Another leg operation, i just cant believed it.
Isnt the same that he has passing, but i know what it does means. All the pain. All the work of rehabilitation and above all will strenght to goes on… And you, in my case above all for the lastest leg operation, gave me such strenght and i never stop to thank you enough for this.