When i -19-

Have reached the first, and only floor of that motel, Pepe have indidcated me that door at end of that long aisle full of other doors closed, and i felt lost in all senses. My head have begun turn slowly faster, and all the thoughts that had ran in my mind till that day seemed going crazy.

At half aisle, i had have to stopped myself. My heart seemed splash out of my chest.
Pepe in front when he haven’t hear my steps, have turned and he have came to me, as if he wanted hold me up, and he said: “Come on, we are almost.” But only in those instants, he have understand that for me he was something more, and approaching to the room, meant something very important. I have looked at him, and in a trembling sigh, i have said: “Thank you. It’s ok now” and i have take a look the the door in front of me, and with the little hand of Pepe in mine, i have reprised my walk. 

Inside me i was literally going crazy, and for the very fist time of that investigation, i was thinking to turn me and backward, but your words in the note, have started turn in mind, and i knew that you would have counting on me, after comprehended the whole situation and that your heart was still beating for me. I have thrown away all the air from the lungs and i have looked at Pepe nodding, so the small creature have continued walk, when he stopped in front the door, and from the bunch of keys, have pulled out the key of that room.

He have inserted the key and he have left me the honour turn it inside the keyhole, and when we both have heardt click we have looked at each other, knowing that behind that door there was a mistery world still to discover.
Pepe have thrown a glance toward me and with his strange accent, have said: “The evening that he haven’t go back, i have passed almost the night to wait for him, but at sunrise i have came to sleep. The next morning i have came here, i have take a glimpse, but i left how it he have left. Usually we have few clients and during the period he have remained, he have been the only one host, and from when he have vanished, i haven’t had nobody else.”
Pepe have wanted specify it to me, and i have thanked him.
“Make you courage and enter. I leave you alone. I hope you find something. If you have need, call me” and so he left me inside that room.

I have prefered close the door, to dive me better in those feelings that those walls could have give me.
When i closed the door, for a bit i leaned on it, and i have looked at me around
In front of of me i had a window that covered the entire wall, that i was staring, and slowly i have walked in the middle, trying to feel your tracks. Slowly and almost unconditionally i have close the eyes when delicately, my sense of smell have perceived your perfume, and i have found myself sigh your name opening them, hoping see you in front of me, but i was still alone in that solitary room.

Holding back your perfume in my nostrils, figuring you was in the room with me, i have started to check everything.
In front of bed there was a wooden furniture with a flat screen TV, that  i knew that you have never turn on, not even to hear the news. You have always preferred the newspaper, infact laid on the armchair next to the window there was a piece of  the last journal that you have bought the day in which you have vanished.
I have take it, and i noticed that it was the main article of that day, in which it was announced the arrive of that chubby creature in the striptease where Michelle have danced all evening. In hurry, i have read that long article, and in those few rows the journalist, had portraited that creature one of the untouchable of the city, underling that that evening in that striptease, maybe it would be ended one of the greatest deal, but on what, it was still unknown, but maybe you have been the only one have uncovered it, and maybe that homeless that you have met under that bridge, knew something that he hadn’t to, that’s why each day, you was going there, maybe to have more informations,  

I didn’t know. I was making only suppositions, i was attempting enter in your mind when my glance have been catched by a tin box like that that one i had found in your desk drawer, next your likely side of bed. 
I have take sit, and just few seconds i have stared it, then i have take it, and slowly i have opened, and i have poured the content on bed and i remained breathless. 
They were some pictures of mine. Only close up.
Taking one, i have sighed: “Where do you have ended?” 
Staring one of those pictures, i have thrown away all the air from the lungs.”


Listen to it ⇓⇓


⇐I didn’t know -18-

Waking up -20-⇒


2 thoughts on “When i -19-”

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