“In my small” – short story ♠50♠

Room, i had could give free rein to all my emotions till that instant caged inside a cold mind.
I have gave freedom to those sensation that in few seconds/ minutes, you was able to give me.
I have run to make enter new air from that tiny window, and i stopped in front of it, just to inhale that few new oxigen that entering in my lungs. 

I wanted free me  from the old, and dive myself in the new one, without, not even me, know what it was: but i knew, that, even if it was really small, i didn’t care, but i was sure it came from those few words you have whispered me. 
I not even turned on the small light on the desk.
I wanted just admire the tiny star next to the moon: his small satellite.

The rays of the moon were merging with the sign of the Philip bar.
For a second, i was tempted to call Philip, to ask if he could turned off the lights. I was about to take the telephone handset, but i gave up.

When i entered in the room, a magical silence, has enveloped me, and in that, i have could hear for few seconds that male breath that slowly has tightened my stomach.

Slowly, i took me off, of all my unnecessary clothes: i remained in t-shirt, and panties.
I have settled the long white curtain behind the small chair, creating in this, a soft shield, for whoever, or whatever it wanted disturb me.
Nothing, and anybody have would not do it: i was alone with my thoughts, and the soft breeze was caressing me.
I had settled my diary on the small desk next to me, if i had need to write, but my glance has lay itself on the little leather bag on the little round furniture next to the desk.
I knew, that in their own way, my precious Runes have would say me something more that my words would not ever say: they would have say me delicately, what it would be happened, and they have would not ever disapointed me.

They were my silent adviser, and each time i asked them something, they have put me on the right way.
I have, always much respected them, even because they have say me, always the right thing, and that evening, i had need to hear some friendly voices: i was inside a spiral of emotion, from which i wasn’t capable to go out alone.
I had need of a foothold, and absolutely, they were.
I held back the breathe, for then throw it away, and i have take the little leather bag.

I wasn’t realized to go out from a twirl of big emotion to entering inside one bigger: the first Rune has came out has been Berkana, and when i seen it, i wide eyes: she was saying me that i was about to enter in a new phase of my life; i was being born again. I have settled it on the desk with the heart that was starting to look for an exit way: and i had to get two more out.  
With a bit emotion i have pulled out the second one, and when i opened the hand, i have found Laguz, and she was reminding me about the dreams we had done, therefore, even of the unconscious wanted unite us.
I had the head that was about to going crazy, literally. 

For a moment i have stared the two stones, and silently they were talking to me: i had a lump in throat, that teardrop was ready to fall, in my deep i didn’t wanted to take the last stone: my head was spinning like a spinning top, but at end i held back the breath, with a shaking hand, i taken the last rune that i missing. 
I didn’t wanted open the hand to see which what it was came out: “If everything conduct me toward you….” i thought, and i have open the fist throwing away the few air i had in body, and slowly i have seen what i had taken: my blood chilled, and i remained to stare that symbol.
Unconsciously, i have started to make short breathes: what it saying me was a new beginning, a new cycle, a transformation.
What i had in hand was Dagaz, and without realizing i looked at that small star next to the moon, widing the eyes.

All in a stroke, all my thoughts were vanished, but that lump in throat has remained: i tried to drink some sips of water, but it seemed that that one few water was getting wet an enormous stone inside me.

With a sort of sacrality, i have put again the three stones inside the little leather bag on the small round forniture next the window, and slowly i lay on bed, holding back the last breath. 
I closed the eyes feeling your voice inside me, and watching those three Runes in my mind: little by little, everything was taking an own form.


Listen to it ⇓⇓


⇐“Arrived” – short story ♠49♠

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