What it would have happened if i was remained, when Philip had decided to presented you.
Willingly, Philip wanted make a good thing, but maybe that evening it wasn’t the right evening.
I went away with the heart in throat, and my being was going crazy.
I remained leaned on that heavy door for long time, while my mind was looking for to focus her thoughts toward another part that it wasn’t you, and that chok sensation at end has exploded, and i poured some tears, not for the emotions that i was feeling, but for all the situation was created in those instants inside the bar.
I was thinking about to all this, that in someways i had forgot where i was, and the first scream followed by the steam, made me jolt, and my heart seemed splashing out from my mouth. I looked at me around, and just in those few instants i realized for real in which enviroment i was.
Just after few seconds, i started to take to breathe normally, and at second scream, i started to counting the seconds to enter in that spiral, that in his own way it would got calm me.
In the bar, the music has continued to play, while just two persons were remained to stare the heavy door as soon closed.
Then Philip has looked at you sorry, and you was still watching the door, with milion thoughts in minds, maybe a bit relieved for this missing ocassion.
Maybe it wasn’t like this, that you would have wanted to know me, or it has been the only ocassion which you would have know me.
It was a question that was hammering your head, since when Philip has pronnouced those few words. Maybe you have would not ever know.
However you have thanked him for having try to, and after received other compliments, you have left the bar, to got back in your apartment.
With your hat in hand, you came out and for a couple of minute you remained lean at the street lamp next the sidewalk between the two buildings, and you have lifted up the face to see that small window.
Inside there was no any movement, and not even a turned light.
“Maybe, already, she is sleeping” you have thought, but immediately after a light illimunated the room, and you have seen a shadow walking inside, behind the fluttering white curtain.
Your heart stopped for a bit. It seemed you shame yourself to look at that small window, while i was taking my clothes off: you have seen the shadow of that white shirt without sleeves flying in the air, and you have figured where it would be fallen: you have turned the glance to another part, but shyly, then you got back to look at up, but after a little, it was like i was vanished.
You was realizing of your insistence, and for hiding it, even to yourself, you have put the hat on, and some of inhabitants had recognized you, and they had smiled to you making you great compliments aloud.
Now, for real you wanted hid yourself: those compliments, almost had made shake the whole neighborhood, and for sure they would be arrived up to inside my room, and i would could hear them, if i has been in that bedroom.
By now, it was a long that it wasn’t moving nothing inside, but that light was turned on yet.
You held back the breathe, for then throw it away, and with a lump in the throat, slowly, you have decided to walk toward your apartament.
You have huddled your hat on, and slowly you have start to walk giving a latest glance toward that small window, hoping to see something yet, but the only thing that in that instants, was moving itself, was the fluttering white curtain that was came out, seeming a ghost who was saying you to remain, but you have give up to that recall, and settling well that hat, you have put one ahead another the feet, till you arrived in your apartment.
You have made the hat fly in the air, and it landed on the sofa, and then you have followed it, throwing your back on the backrest, taking again the hat putting it on your belly, and slowly you was fallen asleep, living again, all those instants before i left the bar.
And the last image in your mind… that flying shirt.”
Listen to it⇓⇓