When i opened the eyes, i had still that vise in the stomach, and uncosciously i held back the breathe, and slowly i tightened my belly with my arms, as if that tight was an your sweet embrace, and i threw away the air from the lungs.
The light of the sun, despite the white curtain closed, was entered, and illuminating all the enviroment.
Before to got up, i still soft touched my belly, figuring your hands on my body, and shyly smiling, like a foolish.
The buzz of that small part of that neighborhood, was making hear itself, while i was resurfacing.
The voice of Philip was one of the first i recognized, and that made me reassured me: i wasn’t fallen in my usual black hole made of milion of thoughts. I held back the breathe, for then throw it away, and slowly i got up. I went to the window, and i have could see the supplies truck in front of the bar, and Philip has given some orders to Barb, and the other barman.
I didn’t wanted distract him, but he lifted his face toward my part, and he have seen me. I smiled at him, waving the hand, and among the noise of the truck, he screamed: “How do you feel today honey?”
Without furtherly screaming, i just lifted the thumb up, then he screamed again: “I’m wait for you down!”
I have smiled at him, and without think, i turned myself, and all in a stroke, all those new sensations has enveloped me once again. I stared the mold spot, and as if i wanted runnining away, i went in bathroom, and i closed the door.
I placed myself in front of the sink, and i saw what the mirror was reflecting: a girl in prey of something that was growing inside her, and not even her, knew what it was.
The only thing she knew, it was that choking sensation more it chock her, more she felt better, and witout realizing she has begun to freshing herself, has shyly smiling.
I went out from the bathroom, and my glance went to stare immediately the mold spot: i wanted to check the new vein i had found few hours ago. It was still there, and there i had hid my latest thoughts.
From that night, has become, my second universe where i could hid me.
I changed myself, but i didn’t went down immediately.
I could hear Philip voice give some order to the barman to pull out some tables out on the small space in front of the bar.
I remained in silence to hear, and the only thought it jumped in mind, he had to clean better the floor, now that it was the usual dead point for everybody, and without thinking about it more, i closed the curtain, leaving the window open, and i went out from the my small room.
I went toward the elevator, and i came in.
I have decided to see what was happening outside the bar, so i didn’t used the second door, and i walked in the sidewalk.
I have met Barb busy to settle the latest things: Philip hadn’t decide to clean the floor. No!
He had thought to organize a special evening, and when i was able to meeting him among the chaos of the local, without asking him anything, he looked at me, and he only shrugged smiling me.
I knew to don’t ask: i had to just wait for the coming of the dusk, and everything it would be discovered itself.
I sat at my table, the only one hasn’t been touched, and from the wooden curtain i observed everything, when in a hurry i seen a silhouette enter making itself space, and immediately i recognized you.
You seemed excited like a child, and you haven’t not even given a moment to Philip to make you notice that i was in my corner, that you have said: “I found this in my boxes, is it ok for tonight?”
Philip just with a cough, has made you understand my presence, and right after you turned yourself, and shyly you have smiled: i pretended to didn’t see you, but all my being has went crazy.
Now just one question was hammering my head: “What would have happened that evening?”
But sincerely i didn’t care: the only thing was important for me, it was that even that night, in my way, i would been with you… with that hat.”
Listen to it⇓⇓