Before to fallen asleep, i turned myself a thousand times in bed: thoughts, and emotions haven’t given me peace.
In all costs, i wanted remove you from my head, but more i tried to, more it was impossible.
Each thing i was looked at it reminded me you.
I’ve taken my diary, and i tried to put down something: seemed that thoughts didn’t wanted put in row for a complete sentence.
I was writing just unique words, and each time the heart seemed could explode at any moment.
That choking sensation was getting up again: i’ve closed the diary. Writing seemed the most useless thing i could do, in those instants.
I lying down on bed staring that mold spot on the roof, looking for to escape from those sensations that were killing me, literally.
Slowly, that mold spot has sucked me inside of it, while i was feeling always lighter, and without realizing, i have closed the eyes.
I found myself in a dark aisle along of it there were closed doors, one in front another, where inside each of them i have would find you: and i knew it.
My mind had pulled me a strange prank: i wanted escape runnning faster i could, but i could see your silhouette trough the glass doors, and that breath that i had listened to on that bench, was the sexiest i was remember, and at end i opened the first door.
My heart has jumped in the brain, making me wince.
When you entered in the bar you have make vanish everything: the buzz, the other clients, and as soon our glances met, we were remained in that local, just us: me behind the wooden curtain, and those eyes that knew where looking at.
I held back the breath, and one question was starting to knock my head, and slowly: “It wasn’t the first time you came in?”
I came out immediatly, as if, already, i had know the reply , but i didn’t wanted hear it.
Little by little, crossing that aisle, i have would discover some tiny things, that, maybe, living them in first person, i would not known.
The wood curtain was my shield against the badness of that world, and you has able to put it down, just with a quick glance, and you has been capable to make me see just the most beautiful side trough your gaze.
I remained breathless.
Now, with the heart in throat, i was staring the door in front, and once again your shadow inside.
“What i will see?” i asked me, helding the breath.
Before to enter i looked at me around: that walk till end, it would been long,
Maybe my heart would explode before to reach the last door, and however, i would died happy, but now i really didn’t care of it.
I going trough the second door: the scenario was the same.
The Philip’s bar.
I remember well that day: you was with your friends, i’ve noticed your tiredness, but your friends seemed didn’t care, they were making jokes about you, but what i hasn’t been capable to hear, they were making insinuations about my aspect, and just now i have understood your insistance to look for my eyes: you was asking to forgive them. you was saying: “Please forgive them, they doesn’t understand how much beauty you have inside”, and just now i understood your slow nod, accompanied with a shy smile, when you have left the bar: you felt yourself in guilty, for what they had said behind my shoulders.
Then, i could see that you sending them to hell.
That vise in that stomach was tightening me stronger, and something else was about to explode, if i didn’t had start to run toward the last room.
Rooms by rooms, i saw you inside, ready to make me discover something else, but in that instants i wanted just to exit from that dream, but something held me back: i had to go trough the last two rooms on force.
In the first, you wasn’t there. I was on the treshold, and what i was observing a part of the universe that was clashing with another one, and two galaxy were dividing themselves that little by little they were formating another new one, and exploding one inside another, i could hear our slow, and light breath that was merging one with another.
That breath we have could hear becoming one only few hours before, on that bench.
I hasn’t been able to move myself. My heart was pulsing strong, and i was miss the air. My head was about to spin again.
I came out from that strange room.
I was miss the last one.
I held the breathe.
All in a stroke i found myself again, on that bench, close to you: this time your hand was softly touching mine, and you was look at me straight in the eyes, and more our glance has becoming profound, more that universe that i had seen before, was surrounding us.
At end my heart has literally exploded in my chest. I have opened the eyes, trying to get calm me.
I threw away the air from the lungs, and i have stared that mold spot on the roof, closing again the eyes thinking of you.”
Listen to it ⇓⇓