Get back inside the Philip bar, and once saluted him, i had decide to go out and make a slow walk for clarify my thoughts.
Once saw that you have left the sidewalk, and in the neighborhood there were just people.
I had to take breathe again: my heart didn’t stop, and was beating like a crazy, and it was fighting with my brain: i had to, absolutely, dump me.
Philip, maybe, could knew, in what state i was, but for sure he didn’t knew which others things had marked the begin of that my day, and now, it was finished on that bench close to you.
I would liked run away, and hide myself for the rest of my life, or at least stay in my bedroom for a week: not talk with anybody, just tangling myself with those minimum thing that were surrounding me, that were linking me to you, always more.
Outside the bar, everything was remained like so: the few tables, and the bench facing the street: in that corner, the time seemed stopped, while around was running.
Before to start my short walk, i stopped, and i lifted the face to the sky: the moon was about to be covered by some clouds: those stars that i was staring there were no longer. They were disappeared, as my soul swallowed by the darkest creature of the night.
I held back the breathe, for then, threw it away, and i started slow run, as if i was chase from everything around.
I had still in nostrils your perfume, and i didn’t hear the buzz of the neighborhood, but just the rhythm of your breath, that it was going at unison with mine: or was it mine that was going at unison with your?
My heart was exploding, each time i was thinking you close to me, respecting that silence which you are entered, and you have stared the same piece of sky i was staring to.
That thought has hammer the head, and it was about to choking me: i could feel inside the stomach a rope that slowly it was tightening it: almost i was miss the breathe.
The entrance of the building next to the Philip’ bar was at few steps, but i stopped: something didn’t make me breathe, and my head was about to spin like a spinning top.
At eyes of passants, i could seemed a drunk. I leaned me to a street lamp. I have tightned it strong, till everything got back normal.
The entrance was in front of me, and now i wanted more than ever go in my room.
In apnea, i held the breathe and when i was in, it has been like i had ran killometres: on the contrary was the building just as soon close to bar, but it seemed that those few steps were become heavy like iron, and something it had held me back from inside.
In elevator, everything got calm, and it was seemed became flat: everything was delined toward my room.
I crossed that grey, and green aisle till my door, where i stopped for a seconds, holding back the air i had in body, then opening the door i threw it away: i was in my safe place.
I looked at me around.
The white fluttering curtain was dancing nervously.
The wind was lifting itself, and the lightening was starting to make themselves see.
I remained on the edge of bed in the darkness.
All in a stroke, the red and blue lights of the sign of the Philip’ bar has entered in, illuminating all the white four walls, and i threw away all the air from the lungs.
It seemed i was waiting for them, to get back to breathe again.
That morning i was escape from that room from those series of numbers that were chasing me.
I leaned myself on the matress, looking for to drive away all those emotions that were strangling my being.
I was about to closing the eyes, but i remebered to set the alarm clock, and i opened the drawer, and when i took it, i had a jolt: once again those numbers.
This time were twenty three twenty three, and a lightning followed by a small thunder, made shake the open window.
I didn’t’ set any clock alarm.
My heart has started to beat like a jackhammer, and everything it has restarted.
Listen to it ⇓⇓