Has opened, and for a instants our glances met, all in a sudden, my whole world has changed, and my heart stopped to beat.
As usual, Philip have brought me something to eat, and to drink, but now that stuff in front of me hadn’t no sense.
I had fear to meet again that glance that had chilled me in those few seconds, and i wasn’t sure that you had noticed me: maybe not even, you had noticed that behind that wood curtain, was there the most hid table of the bar: my safe place in the middle of the people.
I had moved away the dish with chips, that i was left always for last, when i wanted relaxing me, observing the clients of the Bill’s local, and immediately i have taken my diary from inside my bag next to me.
When Barb has came to me to take all the dishes, she observed me: i was more focused than other day: she knew i was collected all my thoughts, and i was about to write. She smiled me, but i didn’t gave her it back: i was staring the little hole on the table in front of me: there was a tiny universe that only me knew, and inside there was seeing some of the most beautiful thing that world could offer me.
She wasn’t offended, she smiled me again and she went away without asked me if i wanted something more: she knew, when i took my diary, at that table got up an invisible banner with written on “Please DON’T DISTURB”, just Philip could came and to ask if there was something he could bring to me, but even him that evening, he had noticed that something had catched my attention, and even if he was came giving me the gold most precious of the world i would not have accepted it.
Now, even the most hid place of the bar has become tight to me: that first glance had pierced the tinest part of my soul, and i didn’t know where to look at, but my eyes were looking for you constantly.
Someway a force had attracted us to look for each other, but you wasn’t alone: you was with your friends.
With many thoughts, questions in head, i have stared that little universe in that small hole of my table.
I had to stay alone.
I threw away the air from the lungs, and with a bit of hurry i left the local, using the service door: if i had used the main entrance of the local, for sure, i would will catched your attention, thing that i don’t wanted to do.
Opening that door, i spinned toward you, but our glances didn’t met: i was felt myself chocking: I had to go away
Holding back the breath i have seen Barb, and Philip who were smiled me.
Closed the door i leaned on it, and i held back again the breath for then throw it away, and go away,
Crossing those long aisle, and pipes that threw away vapor, it seemed that i was running away from something was chasing me.
Arrived in my small room, a deafeaning silence has invested me, and the only thing was hammering my head were those your eyes, that in the shortest time had devasted me.
Getting calming me, i went to open the small window close the desk. I taken a deep breathe, and all in a sudden those emotions that had enveloped me in the bar, slowly resurfaced them again.
Slowly, i putted myself in front of the desk, and i have started to write.
What i had in head were sensations that were pervading me, and i didn’t even me how to put them down in the diary.
I have write till my hand start to got hurt me, and what i was feeling thinking you, it was slowly embracing me.
I stopped when a small cramp has started to my hand.
The bar had closed, and the usual buzz under my window was vanished from a bit, and i have could hear Philip was throwing the lastest garbage bag, leaving fallen the metal cover of the bin, making resound that defeaning noise for all the silent neighborhood.
I have brought the diary in bed, and holding back the breathe for then thow it away, i started to read what i had as soon wrote.
I fallen asleep, looking at straight at your eyes in my mind, and slowly that soft punch in the stomach has growing up.”
Listen to it ⇓⇓