“Leaving our” – [20]

Appartments we had know that our souls would have met sooner or later that day and we would have shared another millionth gaze in that bar.
Closed our doors: mine along the aisle and your that facing itself in front another door in an entrance hall with a glass door that it was in front of that strange concrete with that iron spikes the coming out from it, you was going front of that rusty gate and you have started to fight for open it.
We came out in the street at the same istant. You was going to take the car parked along the sidewalk and i was going to across the little alley that divided me with the bar. 
I was entering silently and without make me notice from the other clients i went at the bottom of the local at my table. In that little journey my eyes has meet those of the owner and some of the staff of the morning.
When i settled myself on circular bench i pulled out immediately my diary with the pencil and i started to write something about last evening. I hadn’t still write nothing and i wanted write something till my thoughts were clear.
The emotions and what i had feeeling ran in me and that tangle in my stomach was so still persistent. Your eyes, were the only thing that my mind made me see, while a voice outside of it was calling me, as if i was still sleeping. 
It was the owner’s voice. I was awokening from that sensation that was wrapping me from the previous evening. Slowly i focused my gaze on the owner, who was waiting for me without hurry. He knew that what was happened inside of those four walls, it has been one of the biggest things that local could have contained and i was still stunned.
“Did you have slept well? What do you want for breakfast?” I have stared him and i would have wanted say him everything what was passing trought my mind, but i just looked at him and i have smiled him, asking him: “What do you have to offer me Phillip?”. That was his name. and he started to list the same dishes with some extras specialities. 
At the end i said him without ceremonials: “The usual it will going good, thanx Phillip” and he went away. He checked me once again leaving me. By now, he knew me. 
I had something. But what which  was passing throught my mind i was saying to my diary, the one and the only real confidant.
I was writing sheets and sheets of papers, when Phillip is back with my breakfast, he didn’t know where put the tray: the table and also the bench were been filled of sheets of papers 
I was a bit embaressed, but mind was full of thoughts and i had must put them on black on white. Phillp smiled me and said me: “Don’t worry…. we will find another placing” and he came back with a mobile tray and he placed my breakfast there. I thanked him so and i returned to write. I seemed going crazy, but i knew if i hadn’t write i would be going  more crazy.
Occassionally i throwed away the air from the lungs, as if i had ran faster than i could. 
Instead were my feelings that chasing themselves inside me and i wasn’t able to stop them and the only way to get slow them, it was  to write what i had feeling.
In some ways i was able to, but some of them escaped way from my pencil and they made me beat my heart still hard. 
I had still your sweet glance in front of me.

I done breakfast at the lunch.”


⇐ “We both” – [19]

“You had” – [21] ⇒

2 thoughts on ““Leaving our” – [20]”

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