Have taken breathe again and after have thanked the owner for the support he had gave me, i’ve decide to retire myself in my little room using the keys that he had gave me.
I didn’t wanted across the crowded local, after what it was just happened and the owner understood it immediately. I also thanked Barb and i left the bar trought the service door.
My head was still spinning and i was still overwhelm.
Using the second door i didn’t come out from the building, but i acrossed long and badly lit aisles. My own shadow seemed wanted chasing me and it seemed that i was running away from something that it would have swallow me as soon as i would stop.
My heart was beating hard and i was breatheless when i reached my second floor.
There the light of the aisle was cold and the floor was covered of a blue and green carpet and my steps were became silently.
I started to walk slow. The shadows weren’t been able to catch me and when i arrived in front on my door, i have took a deep breathe and when i was entering in my room, while i closed the door, i throwed away all the air in my lungs and i left fall my bag from my hand, making fall out also my diary and some sheets.
I have left there everything and i ran toward the bed and i lay on.
You, with your sweet glance, made me feel like a rag, but at the same time, as if a sun light had illuminated me from inside.
My head was still exploding and all my body with her.
That evening i didn’t still have eat. Usually you went away before i ordered my dinner.
My stomach was murmuring, but i was so stunned that to think to eat something it was making me feel bad and sincerely i wasn’t hungry.
The music you had putted on, resounded still in my head.
Slowly i’ve put the chair of the desk in front on the open little window and i sat on.
I turned off the lights of my little appartament and i remained there, in the darkness, breathing slow, reliving again everything, occasionally throwing away the air, waiting for that all this disappeared, but it hasn’t happened. All that tangle in my stomach remained.
I looked for to sleep for some hours, but its been useless. Everything was still spinning in my head and i was charged and something inside me, was strangling the stomach.
Everything i could do was to breathe slow.
I got up and i lay on the bed to the opposite side of the pillow.
I wanted see everything this with another point of view.
Slowly, while i was staring the roof, i fallen asleep.
My heart has starting to beating normal.”