“That evening” – [16]

I didn’t still knew what it was really happened; or at least i didn’t wanted admit it to myself.
I had my heart in the throat and i couldn’t to swallow. I was still stare the glass door of the bar and that music was still playing and it was entering inside me and slowly it was arriving directly to brain and it was making me burn from inside, like a slow fire that it is burning all around, leaving just shreds of ashes.
Just only two persons were looking at the scene. The owner of the local and Barb.
They were looking at me, as if they were able to see what i was feeling in that moment. They could see all my emotions on my face that were changing at each thought was passing in my head. 
By now i didn’t care how many people were in. I could smile or cry and i didn’t care what they could think about me. They could judge me how long they wanted. I was isolated in my angle, and inside, not even, i knew what was happening. 
A tear fallen from my face and i covered my mouth with both hands.
I knew what has happened, but just slowly, in my mind it was developing that you was come at the jukebox to put “that music” just for me.
After having realized that, i throwed my back on the backrest of the bench and i looked at the table, but in reality i wasn’t looking anthing. In my mind was fallen the absolute void and slowly i was emptying myself from all the thoughts i had till the music has started to play and you have left the bar looking at inside the local, toward me with a shy smile.
I wasn’t still able to swallow, i had the throat dry and i was looking to swallow the little saliva I had left, but more i was trying, more it was seemed i was swallowing handfuls of sands.
I was looking at me around, i was got calm me, but it was like as if a train had invested me and i was still overwhelm.  Little by little i was recognizing again the faces in the local, above all those of Barb and of the owner the local, who slowly has come to me asking me if i was ok ordining Barb to take me a glass of water. He has left me, while Barb was arriving with the water. He gave a pat to her and Barb sat in front of me. I looked at her and i shrugged. 
“It’s been so romantic” she almost whispered. I looked at her, while another tears was falling from my face. Then i have drank some sips of water.
I was stared her, but in reality i looked at you…  in my mind.”

⇐ “I believed” – [15]

“You returned” – [17] ⇒


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