That morning still confused. Slowly i have open the eyes and i was still feeling that strange sensation that was strangleling the stomach and i didn’t still know what it was. I went to bathroom and i looked at me inside of the mirror. I asked myself: “What’s going on!?” but i wasn’t able to focus my thought just one thing at time. My sensations were floating in my head and they were fighting one with another. Each of them wanted be the winner, but they seemed fallen in a puddle of mud and they were looking for come out asking help to the other emotion, but each time they fallen again inside.
I spent much time in front of the mirror, in front of sink, for refresh the face, the ideas, but it was useless.
That sensation didn’t wanted leave me. For that moment i gave up. I’ve continued to wash myself.
The light of the sun was entering in my room and i didn’t still have open the window for let enter the new air. When i’ve open the little window i could felt the warm of the rays on my bare skin and in one second all that confusion in me, but above all the emotions that were fighting were fade.
I saw the neon of the bar still turned off and i sighed, bujt the local was open already.
I could hear the voice of the owner who was serving a client.
I throwed myself on the little chair that it was remained next the window since the previous night and suddenly the emotions that were fighting eachother had a name or more precisely a phrase. Your phrase that it was hammering my head.
I putted myself on board of the bed and now it was more clear, but that sense of chocking it was still pervading me and i would have be explode if i wasn’t come out from that little white room, devoid of colors.
I was about to come out, but i stopped myself in front of the door and slowly i turned myself and i went at the window. The air was entering even from there.
I had to stay calm. I hadn’t to let me overwhelm by something that it was being only born in my head. But when the owner of the bar has lifted the face toward my room and he saw me, he nodded me to went down. He said me something about the breakfast, but sincerely i didn’t heard him..
I have closed the window and i throwed away the air from the lungs and i ran away.
I had found an excuse to do not remain alone with my thoughts.”