“I closed” – [13]

The door behind my shoulders and i throwed away the air from the lungs, as if during the short walk to reach my little room, something it had left me woithout the oxygen and they were your words that you had said to Barb. I putted myself on the board of the bed thinking about what i would have to do. In that moment i wasn’t able to reasoning: too much things were crowding my minds and your smile, you eyes were the only things that was making me breathing in a regular way.
“You would have wanted to know me better…” These words putted in row buzzed in my head and they aren’t leaving me.
I was looking for to imagine which kind of sound they have had, when they were came out from your mouth. 
In those first days that you are came in the bar, your tone of voice was more than a whisper in my head. You was so silent and you had said few words. You was looking at much often your iced glass of beer and when you was in company of your friends, that who speaking more than the others was the guy with blond long hair. I just, could imagine how was your voice. 
I was taking again to breathe again, when i opened the little window of my room. 
It was entering a light breeze and it was caressing my face.
I taken the chair and i have settled it in front on the window. I believed to be remained in front of the window for a long time. 
The bar was still open and there was a row for enter in.
I was been there to see the people come and go till the closing, but in reality i didnt’t saw nothing of all this. I was dived in my thoughts. 
I had to take again breathe and i wanted to look for to empty my mind from you, but, by now, more i was look for to put you in a corner of my head, more you knoking to the door of my heart and that it was impossible to ignore. 
Sighing i closed the window when even the lights of the bar were been turned off.
Now the only light that was entering in my room was of the moon. 
Usually her light got calming me, but not that night. 
Your face, your smile…. your blue eyes and that phrase didnt have wanted leave me in peace. 
My heart was still beating hard and i knew that there was only thing to do. 
To write. To write every emotions, feelings that you was been able to give me that evening, also the words that you said to Barb. 
Above all your words, they has filled sheets of my diary.
That phrase: “I would like to know her better” was hammering me from inside with another my question: “…and if he ever doesn’t like me anymore, after a likely meeting…”
That two thoughts were fighting eachother. I dont knew which of thought would have win. 
You didn’t still know about my problems. You knew i was just only the girl who was sit at the table at the bottom of the local. 
But i knew also that our souls were touched eachother so softly and that i couldn’t ignore that. 
There was been a magic touch between us and we knew it.
I throwed away the air from the lungs and everything this was still floating in my mind, when i decided to lay myself on bed and just second later i fallen asleep.”
X

Daria

⇐ “When you went away” – [12]

“I was awoke” – [14] ⇒

 

 

2 thoughts on ““I closed” – [13]”

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