“When you went away” – [12]

Looking at the sidewalk, my heart had a thud. Another time we had talked trought our glances. Our souls has spoke eachother.
Inside of me there was a emotion storm, that i wasn’t able to control.  I was looking at around me as if i was lost in an unknown place: instead it was the place that i was started to consider a second home, with sounds and voices that i was begun to recognise almost immediately.
But right after that lastest gaze, everything seemed it was collapsing on me and it was leaving me displaced, without any anchor where i could cling me. I was feeling my soul was snatched out from my body, as if it wanted chasing you, but i remained there, in silence, looking at my diary. 
Slowly i started to stared it. It was like it was speaking to me.
My emotions were still inside in me and i was still looking at the glass window.
I have looked for to act normal when a person has came to the jukebox for insert the coin to put some music. I have smiled him while he went away.
The music started to play, but my thoughts covered it and i didn’t realise the record was jumping.
When Barb has noticed it, she came next to the jukebox and she turned it off in a second and she has turned on another music player: one more updated than the old jukeboxe and she smiled me and she shrugged.
I was audience at this daily scene, as if i was come from to another world.
Everything around me, by now, hadn’t a sense. Everything what i was feeling was being born from inside of me and everything around me it was a noisy background.
Everything what i had on my mind were your blue eyes and our last glance we had shared before you went away and my head was exploding if i hadn’t do something or at least ask to Barb what he asked her.
That question was hammering me, but i had know what she would have reply me. But i had to try.
I called her and i invited her to sit. For a while we looked at eachother in silence, while she was looking at around. She couldn’t stay long to chat, not even with me, who i had a special treatment from the owner.
I throwed away the air from the lungs and i said: “I go direct at the point: did he added something else at the reply you have gave him?”  She has hesitated a bit, but then she said me: “He said me, always lost in his thoughts, something about your eyes, yours gaze and at the end he said me that he would like to know you better…” Then she got up herself and she said me: “Excuse me i should go back to serve”. I was overwhelm and now, for magic,  your glance was piercing my mind once again. 
Barb, without wait for a reply slowly went away. She knew that i was remained breathless and she smiling at me, leaving me again alone with my thoughts and maybe even with my dreams.
There at my table, my heart was beating like a hammer. I have believed to going crazy, if i wasn’t come out from that local. 
I’ve took my stuff. I left the money on the table and i left the bar.
When i came out from it, i inhaled and throwed the air from the lungs, as if i was strangled by something and i was been able to set me free.
I stopped myself at the exact point where we had shared that last glance, then slowly i started to walk toward the door next the local. I took the keys and i opened it and i entered in.”


⇐ “When you was” – [11]

“I closed” – [13] ⇒ 

2 thoughts on ““When you went away” – [12]”

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